After 33 years of marriage, if someone were to ask me, “So, what’s the secret to a successful marriage?”, how would I answer?
I secretly chuckle as I ponder some of the typical politically correct responses from the “Don’t go to bed angry” to the “Always say I love you whenever you leave for work”………
Do you know how many times in 33 years we had quarreled and got mad at each other and I turned a cold shoulder towards my wife? No, I have never brought her flowers to make up. I am not a romantic guy. We have broken all the “rules” for a successful marriage.
The secret to a long lasting marriage is there is no secret at all!
How did you think our parents, and our grandparents stayed married for so long?
Commitment...
It is a get up and try again over and over every single day.
It is hanging on tight when we were young, newly married and living in a rented room with portable plastic wardrobes and a trusty 14” colour TV, a VHS recorder and a portable radio-cassette player for entertainment, because that was all we could afford.
It is driving a second-hand Datsun 120Y, and progressing to a second-hand Toyota Corolla, until we realized it is more economical to purchase a new Proton Saga because the wear-&-tear car maintenance costs were getting too high.
It is coping with our first newborn baby all on our own because my parents were in Seremban, whilst my wife's parents were in Penang. We were both overwhelmed, but we were in it together.
It is counting our pennies when we were a young family so that we could build a life together for our future.
It is about knowing that nothing is going to turn out perfect, and that we make mistakes financially and emotionally as we go along.
It is about knowing that we can never be prepared for all the things that life will throw at us:-
We went through two recessions,
I had my salary cut twice
My wife had two miscarriages,
I went through two bad bouts of depression
I had my salary cut twice
My wife had two miscarriages,
I went through two bad bouts of depression
We were robbed by a motor-bike chopper-wielding gang right after we had just withdrawn a big sum of our hard-earned money from the bank, ……
It is knowing that we are not alone and that we have each other as our best friend walking together with us through life.
And we have God with us, too.
And we have God with us, too.
God blessed us with our very own little 18’0” terraced house after seven years of marriage.
We were blessed with two great daughters……
God is just good!
So, what is the secret to a long, lasting marriage?
Just keep trusting God and be committed to each other, every single day, whether in the valleys or on the mountain tops.
Don’t ever stop.
Because stopping…..
And that is no secret……
Stopping will make you fail.
Commitment doesn't wear thin after the honeymoon ends.
It is the renewed choice you make each and every morning!
Great great article. Very to the point. Very real. Truly humble and inspiring. I love it. Thanks for the reminder and the encouragement.
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